Saturday, July 31, 2010

360 Degree Turn...

Went up to Jordanelle reservoir  last night for our ward camp out. They went up thursday, friday and saturday, but I had work all week so I couldn't make it up till late friday. Tawny and I drove up as soon as we could get off work and out the door...and got lost. Took us 2 times longer to get there than it should have. The directions they gave us were terrible. I felt bad because I was suppose to help with dinner but by the time I got there they were finished.

It was fun to see everyone but at the same time it was very hard. It is so difficult to be around your peers when you feel like you've let them down. I wasn't myself that night or this morning either. I couldn't bring myself to stay longer than eating breakfast and cleaning up aloud.

I spent friday with Tawny right by my side and we called it a night before they were even done watching a movie or before the campfire and chit chat died down. We proved quite the campers, Tawny and I, setting up and being totally cozy all on our own. We crawled in and read scriptures and talked for a while about how I was feeling. I'm grateful for Tawny. Very grateful.

We woke up in the morning, ate some breakfast. Walked around the camp ground to go get my car, cleaned up all our gear, loaded up and after a few quick goodbyes to my bishop, left. I don't think I made very many friends while up there this weekend...but I don't know how I could have been different.

When we got home I had to hurry and shower and put together Kylee's baby shower gift. Her friend Kaylee was throwing her a shower and fortunately I was invited. Kylee is very VERY pregnant. She's not due for four more weeks but looks like she's about to pop any second. She's adorable in every way though. I was struggling with wanting to go for a little while because of the way I am feeling. I wasn't sure I could handle happy, married ladies chatting about family and babies all afternoon. But I am very grateful I went. It made me a little unhappy for some reason, but I needed to be there. When I left I wasn't in a very good mood. Tawny was planning on taking me to dinner and down to sit in front of the Bountiful temple and talk (we did that once before and she proved an angel in my life for the millionth time) and I felt bad but I was pretty unhappy when we left.

When we went to get dinner it only got worse. My food was gross, I spilled on me twice, I ate too much of my gross food, got sick, then when we got to the temple the grounds were closed and it was raining even harder. I was trying not to be, but I was very grumpy by this time. I apologized to Tawny, who understood, and continued trying to clear my head. She parked on the side of the temple grounds looking up at the temple and began reading me quotes from a little book our friend made for her. I felt distant for a few minutes, but soon the spirit she brought through reading those words, soothed my soul and brought much needed peace and relief. I was so grateful for the things she said and her willingness to be a true friend and do something truly beneficial in her efforts to try and be there for me; comforting me with the gospel and the spirit and not just with silly things to try and make me forget my problems.

As she pulled the car around, the sun broke through the clouds. Suddenly the rain was a blessing, not a depressant. The meal we ate was a blessing, not a stomach upsetter. And the temple was a blessing and reality. The miracles and blessings and covenants made there were true and everlasting even if it was closed for cleaning. Then, as if to fully eliminate my pessimism, what we saw as we pulled into the grocery store on our way home sang to my heart like a precious, soothing lullaby promise...

It was a full, all the way across the sky, double rainbow. I could see every color so crisp and clear. The air was fresh with the clean scent of rain and the sun shown sharp and radiant against the shadowed mountains and I knew, at that very moment, God was watching me, sitting there in the parking lot, staring in awe at the beautiful, natural wonder before me.

I felt loved.
And I thank my Father in Heaven for that.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Compassion and Pink Lemondade Skies

My sister/friend, miss sara, called me right after work yesterday,
"Hey, wanna go to dinner?"
My robot response
After the initial shock that I was actually available to do something, sweet sara took me out to dinner to the new, never been discovered by me [but now favorited] , cafe Zupas.
This is a picture of the delectable salad I partook of...

Fresh Raspberries, Blueberries, Strawberries, Blackberries, Cinnamon Almonds,
Romaine Lettuce, and Poppyseed Dressing
Tingles my taste buds just thinking about it!!

Absolutely incredible and just what my stingy pallet needed to refresh my senses.
The salad, however, was just a side note. I am so grateful to my friend who was there for me that night. She didn't pry, but knew something was up and made me feel comfortable enough to open up and let my worries out. I didn't know if I would be able to open up at all that night because of recent events that have caused me to become closed off and shut down, but I was somehow able to tell her what happened to me. It felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders to sit and see her really listening to me. She knows what I'm going through and understands. She's been there too. She wasn't in a rush or annoyed that I was babbling.
She listened and cared.
It is a friendship like ours that sits pretty on a summer evening, and as we drove home, the sky was at its' best, filled with the hew of "Pink Lemonade" [-sara]
I'm grateful for that night.
              I'm grateful for my friend.
                           I'm grateful for pink lemonade skies :)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Water kick-ball

Last night for FHE my ward played water kick-ball and it was a BLAST!!! We had a great turn out and there were only a handful who didn't want to get wet. Everyone else were great sports. Adam picked me up and threw me in one of the kiddy pools before we even started playing. lovely. Note to self: ware clothes that dry faster when participating in ward water activities.

Learn from life's experiences

The following is, in detail, the things that are unmistakably happening in my life. It is a great blessing to realize  true and sustaining lessons are taught through words of the prophets.

"The voice of the Lord is clear and unmistakable. He knows you. He loves you. He wants you to be eternally happy. But according to your God-given agency, the choice is yours. Each one of you has to decide for yourself if you are going to ignore the past and suffer the painful mistakes and tragic pitfalls that have befallen previous generations, experiencing for yourself the devastating consequences of bad choices. How much better your life will be if you will follow the noble example of the faithful followers of Christ such as the sons of Helaman, Moroni, Joseph Smith, and the stalwart pioneers—and choose, as they did, to remain faithful to your Heavenly Father’s commandments.

With all my heart I hope and pray that you will be wise enough to learn the lessons of the past. You don’t have to spend time as a Laman or a Lemuel in order to know that it’s much better to be a Nephi or a Jacob. You don’t have to follow the path of Cain or Gadianton in order to realize that “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10). And you don’t have to allow your community to become like Sodom or Gomorrah in order to understand that it isn’t a good place to raise a family.
Learning the lessons of the past allows you to walk boldly in the light without running the risk of stumbling in the darkness. This is the way it’s supposed to work. This is God’s plan: father and mother, grandfather and grandmother teaching their children; children learning from them and then becoming a more righteous generation through their own personal experiences and opportunities. Learning the lessons of the past allows you to build personal testimony on a solid bedrock of obedience, faith, and the witness of the Spirit.
Of course, it’s not enough to learn these lessons as a matter of history and culture. Learning the names and dates and sequence of events from the printed page won’t help you very much unless the meaning and the message are written in your hearts. Nourished by testimony and watered with faith, the lessons of the past can take root in your hearts and become a vibrant part of who you are.
And so it returns, as it always does, to your own personal faith and testimony. That is the difference-maker, my young brothers and sisters. That is how you know. That is how you avoid the mistakes of the past and take your spirituality to the next level. If you are open and receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit in your lives, you will understand the lessons of the past, and they will be burned into your souls by the power of your testimonies.

And how do you get such a testimony? Well, there’s no new technology for that, nor will there ever be. You cannot do a Google search to gain a testimony. You can’t text message faith. You gain a vibrant, life-changing testimony today the same way it has always been done. The process hasn’t been changed. It comes through desire, study, prayer, obedience, and service. That is why the teachings of prophets and apostles, past and present, are as relevant to your life today as they ever have been.
That you may find joy and happiness and peace in the future by learning the great and eternal lessons of the past is my prayer for each of you—for my grandchildren and all of the youth of the Church, wherever you may be—which I offer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

--Elder M. Russell Ballard
April Conference, 2009

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I went to see "Despicable Me" last night and after this experience I have two words:
Again! Again!

Thursday, July 15, 2010


Went out with Sara and Sarah and Tawny on a girly outing for a viewing of "Eclipse". Ever present were giant furry wolves and blood sucking, shining, heads-popping-off creatures...however ridiculous, I found myself grinning like a 13 year old through almost the whole show. {giggle} The pathetic rise of Kelsee continues.

But more than the movie entertainment was the enjoyment of being in such good company. I love my friends. I'm grateful they all still want to be my friends. It's so nice to have a few pretty faces in your circle. I'm lucky.

oh and the previews for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows looks *AMAZING*
Part One: November 19, 2010
Part Two: July 15, 2011

Can't wait

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Awesome new phone!!

I just got the new DROID by motorola and it amazes even me and my nerdy tech-loving brain. I'm posting this from my phone as we speak! loving it.
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