A thank you note...

Dear driver of the maroon suburban I followed home from work today,

Thank you, sincerely, for leaving your cheerios on the rear end of your vehicle. It was my day maker.

Sincerely,

Exhausted from a long day and now smiling,

Kelsee

Greatest friday moment of the month!!

Grand Opening!

My work just opened their brand new North Ogden branch. We are solid now. No more trailer home. Yes, this is a true statement; I used to work in a double wide...that was a NCUA certified Credit Union...in a double wide! Redundancy is only fitting in this particular case.

I thought it only appropriate to take a moment in memory of the trailer. It will always be remembered. Despite my outward conveyance of annoyance and desire to have it obliterated, there are twinges on my heart strings when I think of things like the way it smelled like shrimp when it rained, or times when I remember gazing through the prison-like bars on the windows on a sunny day longing to be free. You might catch me missing the full scale kitchen with enough cupboards to keep all my junk food in, or the homey employee bathroom complete with a shower. I might choke up a little on any given day if I think of the special moments when Dalene, my boss, walked out of her office with "that look" on her face and I knew it was time for me to put my game face on and go in after the spiders lurking under her desk. I may even miss, from time to time, the yelling we had to do when it hailed or rained hard in order to hear what the members needed us to do over the pinging on the metal roof and siding.

The double wide... ::sigh:: ... it will be missed in all it's mold growing glory...

WHO ARE WE KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!

Our new building is BEAUTIFUL!! I feel spoiled now going to work every day. It is keeping us busier than we are used to or know how to handle, but I have loved every minute of it! I am learning so much and have even have my own office for which I am training to be the Loan Officer. I'm so grateful to have a job and work with fun people and feel like I am in a safe and healthy environement. "Appreciate" has been the word on the brain these days.

The radio station, K-Bull 93 came out to help celebrate our grand opening.

Brides and babies

Yes that is all that seems to be going on these days, weddings and baby blessings. I don't remember when I got old enough to have all my friends in this stage of life. Somewhere along the line we grew up...I didn't catch it. Went to my sweet friend, Sam Nielsen's, bridal shower tonight. She is so adorable. I am happier than a daisy in May for her and her fiance Austin. She is so happy and hearing her talk about their plans together is a testimony builder to me of the plan of savation and the reality of eternal families. Tawny and I went a little crazy at the store getting her shower gift. Printed off her registry and went to town! We filled up a extra large laundry basket with all sorts of usful kitchen things. The theme was "Time of Day" and we had 6:00p.m. so figured the kitchen would be a safe bet for that time of day. She was so grateful and loved all of it. Just one more Tawny/Kelsee random tangent success story :)

Fireside

I got to see an apostle of the Lord tonight!!
Elder David A. Bednar of the quorum of the twelve apostles came to speak at a young single adult fireside tonight at Weber state universities institute building. This was HUGE! Even though we all knew it was a big deal that he was coming we had no idea just how crazy it was going to be just trying to get into the building.

The line was all the way up the street and around the corner from the south west doors of the building.

We stood in line forever and we didn't even get there early as some. 

Some people got there as early as 2:30 to ensure they got good seats. At one point we were worried if we would get in at all because of how many people we saw going in and how far back we were. So while we were waiting ever so patiently to get in, we decided to take some more pictures...

These are two of my favorite people in the world. Tawny Parker and Cindy Olmstead. Cindy is my Visiting Teaching Coordinator and she is simply a saint. Oh and she is also super woman. She does sooo many amazing things with her life. I appreciate her so much.

Best friends!!

We are definitely some fun friends! :) These girls make me soo happy!

We finally got into the building and even though we were in the over flow of the over flow, we could still see him pretty well. He gave an amazing and inspired talk. More than a talk it was tid bits of advise specifically for us as young single adults in that area from a general authority. I recall getting goose bumps several times. my favorite message, however, had to be "Feed them ice cream!" Council from an apostle on raising children. I believe we'd all be a little happier with a few more scoops of ice cream :) It was a great evening. 

Date night

Went on a date tonight. As surprised as I know you all are, it is true. It was so great. His name is Lane Boyer and he's the elders quorum president in our ward. Very impressive guy. We doubled with his friend Wess and a date. Fun couple. They took us to The Bistro on 25th St in Ogden. I will say, hands down, it was the best meal I've had all year!! I got something called black and blue penne...penne pasta with creamy Alfredo sauce, fresh, cooked to perfection, sirloin on top, with a little bit of traditional vinaigrette. Brilliant!!

After fat and happy hour, we went to the store to pick up some supplied to make eclairs. The twist is that we were going to make them over the fire. Greatest alternative to s'mores ever! They were delicious. We took our supplies out went where Wess' family had some land, had a fire and made our desert. There was a bunch of machinery out in the field and at one point Lane and I decided we should go explore a little bit. We found a tractor and I was pretty excited. I'd never been in one before so I climbed on up and felt cool for about 10 seconds...then was bored. haha The night flew right by and next thing we knew it was 1:00 in the morning! Time to head home. It was great. I was glad I didn't let my inhibitions keep me from going out tonight. Here's a few pics.

Bessie...with a flood light

My date :)

Me and Bessie-BFF's

The first 60 days of my
[135 Days]
of gratitude

(A list compiled and started to appropriately countdown the days till what I am most grateful for in this roller coaster year sets foot back in Utah)

• Day One: Grateful for the double rainbow, spread across an entire evening sky
• Day Two: Grateful for the strawberry taste that tingles my tongue 
• Day Three: Grateful for optimism
• Day Four:Grateful for the scriptures
• Day Five: Grateful for music and the way it can get to me like nothing else in this world
• Day Six:Grateful for peaceful moments, no matter how brief 
• Day Seven: Grateful for new appreciation of important things of a spiritual nature. oh and the announcement of the temple prep class starting up in my ward, which I will be participating in :) stoked!!
• Day Eight: Grateful for emotion and heart that's growing.
• Day Nine: Grateful for my spare car key and green lights on my way to work.
• Day Ten: Grateful for heartache...it makes me appreciate happiness so much more.
• Day Eleven: Grateful for Jeffrey Paul Hofheins.  You discover what true friendship is when the difficult times arise and they stick by your side and fight with and for you.
• Day Twelve: Grateful for brisk mornings and kisses from the sun :)
• Day Thirteen: Grateful for my blogs (yes, plural). They keep me real and spirited. 
• Day Fourteen: Grateful for Sunday evening chats with my mom.
• Day Fifteen: Grateful for random fun, laughter and tennis shoes.
• Day Sixteen: Grateful for my bed and rest after a long day.
• Day Seventeen: Grateful for my job. I am employed and work with great people. I am blessed.
• Day Eighteen: Grateful for rain!!
• Day Nineteen: Grateful for friday cookie day at work. (Though my jeans that I put on this morning are telling me the last thing I need is free cookies at work.)
• Day Twenty: Grateful for all the things that never worked out in my life so that there can be room for all the things that will. 
• Day Twenty-One: Grateful for my family and the chance to see my brother and spend time with him.
• Day Twenty-Two: Grateful for those who are honest with me, even when it kills me inside.
• Day Twenty-Three: Grateful for absolutely amazing friends (who's love made me cry), laughter, chatter, smiles, and country swing dancing late into the night. I am truly blessed.
• Day Twenty-Four: Grateful for a peaceful sleep that allowed me to feel refreshed this morning.
• Day Twenty-Five: Grateful for Bluebel cheese! So yummy. Oh and applesauce :)
• Day Twenty-Six: Grateful for fresh water to drink.
• Day Twenty-Seven: Grateful for my grandparents. Sweetest people on the planet!
• Day Twenty-Eight: Grateful for the organization of Visiting Teaching. Truly inspired.
• Day Twenty-Nine: Grateful for the down poor as I ran from the house to my car. For some reason it made me happy, like a kid again :)
• Day Thirty: Grateful for being able to get organized toward the beginning of the week for once instead of the end. Feels good.
• Day Thirty-One: Grateful for my sense of sight and that I see such beautiful things with vibrant colors on a daily basis.
• Day Thirty-Two: Grateful for tears because when I cry it reminds me I'm not a heartless, ungrateful, desensitized person.
• Day Thirty-Three: Grateful for fresh morning air. It just felt so good breathing it in on my way into work today!
• Day Thirty-Four: Grateful for friends and the fun reunion we had at Angela's wedding last night.
• Day Thirty-Five: Grateful for fast and testimony Sundays. They are such a blessing.
• Day Thirty-Six: Grateful fro a day to re-group and being able to take lots of deep breaths in a row.
• Day Thirty-Seven: Grateful fro time. Short as it may be, little as we have, it is a gift. Don't forget.
• Day Thirty-Eight: Grateful fro individuality and the unique personalities it gives each of us. When unique personalities collide, it sometimes makes for a pretty fantastic evening :)
• Day Thirty-Nine: Grateful for my camera and the wonderful memories it helps me to capture.
• Day Forty: Grateful for being 40 days away from where I was 40 days ago. There's a sense of accomplishment when you look back at something you aren't proud of and can look in the mirror and say, ya know, I think I'm going to be just fine.
• Day Forty-One: Grateful to be able to get some rest when I'm sick.
• Day Forty-One: Grateful for the watch care of a loving Father in Heaven who helps me do what I am not physically able.
• Day Forty-Two: Grateful for communication and the ability to talk to others.
• Day Forty-Three: Grateful for people who care enough to listen to my life stories and don't judge me.
• Day Forty-Four: Grateful for cough drops with Vitamin C and their thoughtful delivery.
• Day Forty-Five: Grateful to have made it to work on time even though I missed my alarm by a long mile.
• Day Forty-Six: Grateful for the corn husks I saw on my way to work. Tickled my insides because I'm so excited for fall!!
• Day Forty-Seven: Grateful for my feet. They took me dancing on a beautiful night and my heart was light.
• Day Forty-Eight: Grateful for mistakes and wrong choices. They make me realize what the real problem is when I'm having a bad day.
• Day Forty-Nine: Grateful for imagination. Limitless and costs nothing.
• Day Fifty
• Day Fifty-One:
• Day Fifty-Two: Grateful for dreams. Even when they're really strange...at least I know I'm still alive even when unconscious.
• Day Fifty-Three: Grateful for the sound each string on a guitar makes. Put a few together and you can create your own little piece of heaven.
• Day Fifty-Four: Grateful for 409 and men who take responsibility for their actions. Sleeping on the cold ground is much more pleasant with lingering laughter brushing past your lips.
• Day Fifty-Five: Grateful for the warmth of the sunshine and the chance to doze in its' rays.
• Day Fifty-Six: Grateful for love. If fills me up all warm and bubbly inside.
• Day Fifty-Seven: Grateful for responsibility. It helps me grow.
• Day Fifty-Eight: Grateful for the pumpkin truck that was PILED with pumpkins in Smiths parking lot. I couldn't help but smile as I thought of what the this fall will be bringing...
• Day Fifty-Nine: Grateful for my washer and dryer and the smell of clean laundry, warm towels and soft t-shirts.
• Day Sixty: Woo Hoo!! Day Sixty. Grateful for time. All the time I have put behind me and turned into who I am today, and for all the time that lies ahead.

Song of the Day

"To Make You Feel My Love"
     ~Adele

Repeat count: 12

Ducks, Trains and 409

Once upon a time, (last Friday) I went on a ward camp out.


I had had a little bit of a rough Friday and wasn't exactly in the mood to go play R.S. pres all evening. Tawny, Cindy (my VT coordinator) and myself made plans to all go up together. So Cindy met us at the house, we loaded up the car and left for the night. I immediately knew what kind of pick me up I needed. Disney songs! So I plugged I my ipod and sang all the way up. 3 songs into the drive, I was feeling much better. We got up there, set up our tent (very humorously, might I add...we had an incident with the rain fly. Lets just say we basically slept under the stars that night, even though we were in a tent haha), grabbed some food and then sat around the campfire, talking and laughing and enjoying time with others in the ward.

WELL...

Early on in the evening, Lane, our elders quorum president, figured out he could lure the ducks wherever he wanted to by throwing little handfuls of chips out to them. They would follow him anywhere. (See exhibit A below)

(Exhibit A)



I caught on early enough that he was trying to get them into our tent. Every once and a while I would see him getting the ducks closer and closer to our tent, at which point I would abruptly march over there and chase the ducks back into the pond. It was entertaining and fun, but I began to get paranoid that the ducks WERE going to somehow end up in the tent. So every so often i would go check. Lane started teasing me "you might want to go check on your tent Kelsee". But he was always teasing because he knew I was paranoid. There was never anything inside the tent when I would check.

Well, later on that night, Lane was sitting by me around the camp fire and by this time he seemed to have given up on the duck business. Well I happened to glance over my shoulder and saw someone standing by our tent...

I paused and said "hmm do I need to be concerned with the white shirt sneaking away from our tent?" to which lane simply shrugged his shoulders. A few minutes later I said to tawny and cindy, "Maybe one of us should go check on the tent" and immediately lane piped in and said "I think that would be a really good idea" I laughed it off because I thought he was just playing off my paranoia. But then he said "no really. I think you might want to go check on it." and I kind of had a concerned look on his face. So Cindy, getting annoyed with the playful banter, gets up grabs the flash light and walks over towards the tent. Moments later we hear a scream followed by loud laughter. I looked at lane with a "no way" look in my eye and jumped up to go investigate.

Sure enough, as we shined the light into the tent, two nervous, flapping, quacking ducks were zipped up into our tent.

NO WAY!! How??

Well, apparently after his lack of success, Lane jokingly challenged this guy Mike to get the ducks in the tent for him. Mike is a very odd duck (no pun intended) himself. Just one of those people who are strange in a way that makes you slightly uncomfortable. And we learned that night not to put anything past him. You tell him to try and do something like catch two crazy ducks and put them in the girls tent, he'll get it done! haha

Well you can only imagine what happened next...

Think if you were a small feathered animal that could only quack and flap and you got locked in a vinyl prison...what would you do? Oh yes that's right

POOP ALL OVER EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!

Way to think that one through President. Haha! It was a super gross mess. When Mike and Lane realized what those gross little creatures had done, they felt really bad. The task of getting the ducks out of the tent proved quite humorous as well. They didn't want to cooperate. Finally, upon getting them out and realizing the mess, the boys started to clean. It smelled disgusting! And I kid you not, it was EVERYWHERE!! Huge mess. Lane was like, "Holy crap! How could two little ducks do all this in 15 minutes??" haha haha He ended up driving to a walmart and getting a bottle of 409 (and bringing us redemption ice cream ha) and scrubbing down the whole tent. It was the best part of the whole camp out. Everybody was laughing and joking about even on Sunday when we came to church.

We do good news minute in R.S. and Tasha, our FHE committee head, raised her hand and said "my good news is that my tent wasn't the tent with the duck poo in it" we laughed and I said "well, my not so good news is that my tent WAS the tent with the duck poo". It was so funny.

Needless to say, besides the stink of the lake/ducks, the noisy trains, the freezing cold, going to sleep at 3:00 a.m. and waking up at 6:00 to cook everyone breakfast...it was a BLAST!! I was glad I participated as I should have.

Oh, and the trains part is that we were about 100 yards from a train track and apparently there was a road crossing a mile away from the campsite, so every 30 minutes or so when a train would pass by, it would blare its horn right as it paralleled out camp site. of course! no sleep for this little one :)

SO there's my entertainment from my weekend. I hope you found something in there amusing.

Yes, I know...

I really need to play catch up!!
I haven't been blogging my happenings very consistantly as of late.
Fail.
I will improve upon this situation asap!!

p.s. Did you know that the plastic things on the ends of shoelaces are called aglets??

'Tis a Puzzlement

Tonight was all about being conscious to the goings on in my brain. not letting them escape. I drove and thought, then sat and thought, then wrote, then planned, then read then prayed then thought. Interestingly enough what I thought I was thinking, I'd already thought about, so what I thought was that I shouldn't think about what thoughts I'm thinking before I have a thought. Perhaps that will un-fuzz some of me.


p.s. If something that you usually use to find things is lost, how do you find what you lost while looking?

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Song of the Day

"Photographs and Memories"
     ~Jason Reeves

(Playable track coming soon)

Strike, spare...who cares

This may come as a shock to most, but please believe what I have to tell you is true.
I went with a NORMAL person, on a legit, real, and normal date last night. We went bowling and out for ice cream and played the only Nintendo game I like, Mario Kart (simply because I threatened to dominate...but it was a very empty threat).
Lots of laughter ensued throughout the evening and I was happy to announce at the end that I had actually enjoyed myself. I was grateful to my friend Michelle for setting us up. I had started to forget my heart could feel light in the dating world. He was a great date. The night was a huge success. Is there another date with "superman" in the future?? I haven't the foggiest, but we count the good moments sometimes as more of a success than anything we'll get out of a circumstance down the road. Right now I'm just grateful for the bowling pin band aid it put on a piece of my heart.

RSL!!

Went to my first REAL Salt Lake game tonight. It was awesome.

There were lots of records set that night for the team. One of them was the number of fans in attendance. Over 18,000!

Pretty awesome.

We were on the East side so I got to watch one of my favorite things from a new viewing point...

...a gorgeous sunset behind the jumbo tron. haha

I even got ice cream AND entertainment after the game.

Plus we sang in the car. Good times.

Braydon,

he's a gentleman, he's funny, and he put up with me for a whole night.

(Thanks)

The best part is I tried to kick back a little...and braydon got a picture of my favorite shoes.

I love experiencing new things.

The world we live in is scary in lots of ways, but it is still awesome in many others.

Music, ice cream, soccer, sunsets, shoes...need I go on??

:)

Mowage...

My sweet friend Angela Secrist (Cooney) got married today. Her reception was so great! She looked beautiful and they both looked so happy. It was also a WONDERFUL reunion! Jessica came with Tawny and I and brought her sweet bundle of joy with her. Cutest little girl on the planet!! I love her red hair and chubby legs. I just want to eat her up! haha Ran into Dalen, Clay, Kelsey, Kellie, Tyson, Lindsay, Emily, Steve and a bunch of other old friends there and we had a great time. I even came back after I left once because I wanted to spend more time with old friends. It was special to me. Here's a few pics to document the evening. Love!

They were nice to each other when they cut the cake. No smashing in faces.

Funny how Clay always manages to look evil in the pictures I get of him...

Love them both :)

After the wedding, I came home and my sweet friend Sarah was over. We (Sarah, Tawny and myself) decided it was a good night for spaghetti and a flick.

This is how we chose the movie:

Since my room was a disaster and I forbid anyone to enter, I took picture of each of my movie shelves and made them look at the pictures and pick one. haha

I love my friends and the random things we do!

Song of the day goes to...

"The Day We Fell Apart"
        ~Kelly Clarkson



Repeat Count: 3

This was the BEST to listen to driving home today. Thanks Kelly

Scary?

whats scary is that this is happening august 30th!!
uh...happy holidays??
craziness

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Celebrate!!

I just have to announce that my visiting teaching coordinator and myself FINALLY got visiting teaching companionship's organized last night!!!!!!!!!!
WOO-HOO!!!!!!!
The Lord truly does help His work along if we align our will with His. It is so exciting to finally be getting this organized!!!

That is all.

Peace. Love. and Grilled Cheese :)

SEE!!!

It really IS a Wednesday!!

The poor stop sign proved it on my lunch break!

ha haha ha ha

this made light of my Wednesday troubles. awesome.

Dread

                           
                                 this is how my Wednesday is going...
                                               had to get a big fat mcD's coke
                                         and its only 10 a.m.
                                                                               .......ugh

Lagoon...

It's what fun is!
Or so the saying used to go. I'm not sure if that's still their slogan or not. It was our stake lagoon day today so Tawny, Sarah, Sara and myself decided to go try to have a little fun there. I haven't been in years. I had a great time. The Samuri is still my favorite. It was great that we all enjoyed the same rides and that we had an even 4 of us. We all get along really well and it was nice to just let down for a few hours and not worry about heavy responsibilities. I'm grateful for friends. :)

A true blog entry

Upon arriving home from work today I realized that my drilling of "don't forget your notebook, don't forget your notebook..." as I went about my work day was little help. I ended up leaving my notebook at work...more specifically my Relief Society binder, something that I could not do without on a weekend. It is my lifeline to my duties that seem to start Saturday morning and end Sunday night. SO, after throwing in my first batch of laundry, (there ended up being 5 tonight), I drove all the way back to north Ogden, unlocked the building, grabbed my binder (and my Gardettos), reset the alarm, and drove all the way back home. I made good time...a cop followed me for about 8 minutes. I believe I may have been speeding as I passed him on the side of the road. Funny, I saw him but was so much enjoying my windows rolled down and singing "This is the New Year" by Ian Axel, that I smiled at the cop and didn't even bother looking at my speedometer. Ha! I'm very certain he had every intention of pulling me over. I even turned down a very random street to test my theory....he was, indeed, following me. However, something possessed him to let me off the hook and he turned down a different street after I came to a complete stop at a stop sign across the street from the temple. The irony. I was grateful.

As soon as I got home, the sunglasses were off and I was putting another batch in the wash. I realized something...I actually enjoy doing my laundry. Simple epiphany, I know, but I have to wonder, what is it exactly that would possess me to turn down a perfectly good bonfire I had been invited to on a perfectly good friday night by a perfectly decent stranger to sit at home and listen to the clinking noise of my jean zippers on the sides of the dryer?? Doesn't make much sense, I know but there it is nonetheless. My Friday night was just beginning and my personal enjoyments/kicks and giggle for the evening were coming alive.

If you know me, you know I love movies. Netflix is pure manna from filmmakers heaven ::sigh:: It has been a long while, sadly, since I've had time to turn on a new flick and say I enjoyed something. Having 5 batches of laundry, however, proved a perfect excuse to turn something on to fold freshly laundered clothes to. I picked a show I hadn't heard much about but couldn't have been more pleased. "Julie and Julia". Brilliant. I am big on inspiration. I recall going to see "p.s. i love you" in the movie theater when I lived in California. I was big on going to matinees then and on one particular day that was the winner. I bawled my eyes out. I don't do that a lot in movies, especially in public, but there I sat, the theater basically empty except for 3 older tender hearts on the back row of the theater (also bawling their eyes out). I don't recall ever watching anything that made me think as much as that movie did at that time in my life. I went home all ponderous and whimsical-like in wondering who I was and what I wanted to do with myself. Where was my "muchness" (as the Mad Hatter would say) and how could I find it?
Creative as my brain is, I immediately picked up a notebook and began simply putting things down on paper. Why? I hadn't the foggiest. But I did it. Did I find my muchness with a paper and a pen? No. Don't be sad, that's not the end of my story.

So I'm watching "Julie and Julia" and getting a lot of the same feelings I had once upon a time in that dark theater in California. I'm loving the movie, the concept, the acting, the detail and all of sudden I'm feeling much more meaning in every small moment I'm blessed to be having as I'm doing my laundry and going about the house. Of course it pushed me right into writing this all down tonight. I can't believe how easy it is to just let the words come. Once upon a time I used to be able to do this in my journal or in little stories I would begin writing, but of course I would never finish them and I would always get away from writing. I'm grateful for this release. If no one ever reads a single word I write I would never care. It is given me opportunity to have experiences and to be able to express them as I will. So what if I'm not clever or smart in my writing? Who cares if I don't touch the universe or plant a seed that inspires someone as I have been inspired in times past. Sometimes we do things for the good of ourselves and the detoxifying of our heats and souls. This is healing and therapeutic in my little world. This is real and contains substance that reads "Kelsee" all over it. Through words straight from my thoughts and heart, I'm learning more of who I am.

Did you know that I have a sock monster in my house? or possibly just the washroom...or my bedroom. It's true. Somehow I always end up with lonely socks, lying helpless next to all the other socks who have mates. I am saddened for them. Where are their better halves??
Maybe in New York, like mine ::sigh::

Time to say goodnight.

Sand Volleyball

Tonights FHE activity was sand volleyball!! Fantastic! My team was righteous. Cindy brought her game face and a ball with Willson painted on it (just like the one in "Cast Away"...yes, it was awesome); Clint may not be a tall man, but he can still spike it; Jordan is the best forward puncher in volleyball history; Tawny has a mean serving streak (5 aces in a row); I, well I'm entertaining to watch...I believe that is a contribution...somehow...haha; and Dan, he kept us pumped up and really kept his head in  the game. We didn't do too bad. I think we won more than half the games we played, but most of all we had fun. It was healthy to laugh and feel fun penetrating into my routine in life once again.
I love my ward. It is filled with uplifting, good and happified people. It is a blessing. Beautiful are the blessings that this life brings, given us by our Father in Heaven who loves and watches over.

Capable

So this may seem menial to most, but I accomplished something at lunch that I felt proud of.
A few months ago my car started making this noise that wasn't a normal noise. It sounded like I was continually running over those little yellow tabs that they sometimes put on the lines in the road. Could never figure out what the deal was. I was afraid it had something to do with my tires and i was not looking forward to paying to have that figured out. Well, the noise started to go away a few weeks ago but every once and a while I would hear it. By happy chance, I noticed something hanging down in the front of my car as I drove past a store and saw the reflection in the window. So, today at lunch, in my work clothes, I pulled my little friend up on the car raisers at my parents house, wheeled myself right up underneath her and ::light bulb:: found the problem. Part of the plastic guard on the front has snagged on something at some point and was flapping around as I drove. Part of it had gotten sheered off from dragging on the road (which would explain the noise starting to go away this last little while) but there was still a small flap of plastic hanging down. I grabbed my dad's sheers and trimmed it all up nice and neat, and I believe that will solve the mystery. (cross your fingers) It was just a nice boost to my confidence to know I'm not one of those helpless sissy girls who can't investigate a car dilemma. Call me a little less feminine, but I actually enjoy working on cars and getting a little messy. I feel accomplished. Pat on the back, don't mind if I do.

Things to be said...

Went to dinner tonight with a bunch of ladies/friends that I work with. We went to Javiers and ate way too many helpings of chips and salsa...but it was delicious. We just had a good chat and a few laughs. I'm grateful to have fun people I can socialize with. Here are a few of my favorite lines from the night:

"I don't do beverages very well"-Tanya
"Hello, I'm the Moron Monitor. I just stopped by to inform you that you are a serious moron. Carry on"-Me (directed at Michelle and her awesome outlook on other peoples lives ha)
"He went in to kiss me and I just couldn't get away...sneezed right in his face!"-Michelle
"Pretty sure I just shot snot into my drink"-Tanya
"What? we're not good enough for you you have to text other people?"-Kathy (directed at Tawny who didn't hear a word she said but then looked up and said...)
"Oh wha? Something about embarrassing moments and texting...yeah I heard you."-Tawny
"When you can laugh about laundry you are in good shape"-Tanya
"Don't crunch my face!"-Diane
"Dumped hot coffee right in my lap. It was hot and I was loud. Yup right in my...lap"-Kathy
"I looked and she fell with all the tater-tots, then I peed"-Tanya

[Memories] 

outlast the lights that flash and the time that flies. 

I'm grateful for memories, specifically memorable use of vocabulary :)

Identity

I have been concerned lately with "who I am", feeling like I lack the identity needed to be able to claim that I know who I am. Through recent words of scripture and prophets and much pondering I've realized that the discovery of our true identity happens in and through our Savior Jesus Christ, living His gospel, and learning his teachings. With such realization and more eternal goals in mind, I decided to purchase a new triple combination. I hope to dive into the living waters and begin absorbing knowledge I've truly been missing.

I have set a temple goal. No date yet, but while talking with my bishop I decided that striving to enter the temple, worthy and prepared, would be an excellent way to focus my good intentions and turn them into patterns of righteousness that I hope to pursue for the rest of eternity.

I have decided not to have my name put on my new set of scriptures until I am able and worthy to enter the temple. It will serve as a symbol of discovering my identity. By obtaining and maintaining a temple recommend I will be able to say that I know who I am... Kelsee...A daughter of a divine Heavenly Father and a disciple of Jesus Christ, who has made it possible for me to have a life of substance, meaning and every lasting happiness I could ever imagine.

I'm grateful for growth and
opportunity
and [humbled]
by
His grace and
Love.

360 Degree Turn...

Went up to Jordanelle reservoir  last night for our ward camp out. They went up thursday, friday and saturday, but I had work all week so I couldn't make it up till late friday. Tawny and I drove up as soon as we could get off work and out the door...and got lost. Took us 2 times longer to get there than it should have. The directions they gave us were terrible. I felt bad because I was suppose to help with dinner but by the time I got there they were finished.

It was fun to see everyone but at the same time it was very hard. It is so difficult to be around your peers when you feel like you've let them down. I wasn't myself that night or this morning either. I couldn't bring myself to stay longer than eating breakfast and cleaning up aloud.

I spent friday with Tawny right by my side and we called it a night before they were even done watching a movie or before the campfire and chit chat died down. We proved quite the campers, Tawny and I, setting up and being totally cozy all on our own. We crawled in and read scriptures and talked for a while about how I was feeling. I'm grateful for Tawny. Very grateful.

We woke up in the morning, ate some breakfast. Walked around the camp ground to go get my car, cleaned up all our gear, loaded up and after a few quick goodbyes to my bishop, left. I don't think I made very many friends while up there this weekend...but I don't know how I could have been different.

When we got home I had to hurry and shower and put together Kylee's baby shower gift. Her friend Kaylee was throwing her a shower and fortunately I was invited. Kylee is very VERY pregnant. She's not due for four more weeks but looks like she's about to pop any second. She's adorable in every way though. I was struggling with wanting to go for a little while because of the way I am feeling. I wasn't sure I could handle happy, married ladies chatting about family and babies all afternoon. But I am very grateful I went. It made me a little unhappy for some reason, but I needed to be there. When I left I wasn't in a very good mood. Tawny was planning on taking me to dinner and down to sit in front of the Bountiful temple and talk (we did that once before and she proved an angel in my life for the millionth time) and I felt bad but I was pretty unhappy when we left.

When we went to get dinner it only got worse. My food was gross, I spilled on me twice, I ate too much of my gross food, got sick, then when we got to the temple the grounds were closed and it was raining even harder. I was trying not to be, but I was very grumpy by this time. I apologized to Tawny, who understood, and continued trying to clear my head. She parked on the side of the temple grounds looking up at the temple and began reading me quotes from a little book our friend made for her. I felt distant for a few minutes, but soon the spirit she brought through reading those words, soothed my soul and brought much needed peace and relief. I was so grateful for the things she said and her willingness to be a true friend and do something truly beneficial in her efforts to try and be there for me; comforting me with the gospel and the spirit and not just with silly things to try and make me forget my problems.

As she pulled the car around, the sun broke through the clouds. Suddenly the rain was a blessing, not a depressant. The meal we ate was a blessing, not a stomach upsetter. And the temple was a blessing and reality. The miracles and blessings and covenants made there were true and everlasting even if it was closed for cleaning. Then, as if to fully eliminate my pessimism, what we saw as we pulled into the grocery store on our way home sang to my heart like a precious, soothing lullaby promise...

It was a full, all the way across the sky, double rainbow. I could see every color so crisp and clear. The air was fresh with the clean scent of rain and the sun shown sharp and radiant against the shadowed mountains and I knew, at that very moment, God was watching me, sitting there in the parking lot, staring in awe at the beautiful, natural wonder before me.

I felt loved.
And I thank my Father in Heaven for that.

Compassion and Pink Lemondade Skies

My sister/friend, miss sara, called me right after work yesterday,
"Hey, wanna go to dinner?"
My robot response
"Sure."
After the initial shock that I was actually available to do something, sweet sara took me out to dinner to the new, never been discovered by me [but now favorited] , cafe Zupas.
This is a picture of the delectable salad I partook of...

Fresh Raspberries, Blueberries, Strawberries, Blackberries, Cinnamon Almonds,
Romaine Lettuce, and Poppyseed Dressing

Tingles my taste buds just thinking about it!!

Absolutely incredible and just what my stingy pallet needed to refresh my senses.
The salad, however, was just a side note. I am so grateful to my friend who was there for me that night. She didn't pry, but knew something was up and made me feel comfortable enough to open up and let my worries out. I didn't know if I would be able to open up at all that night because of recent events that have caused me to become closed off and shut down, but I was somehow able to tell her what happened to me. It felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders to sit and see her really listening to me. She knows what I'm going through and understands. She's been there too. She wasn't in a rush or annoyed that I was babbling.
She listened and cared.
It is a friendship like ours that sits pretty on a summer evening, and as we drove home, the sky was at its' best, filled with the hew of "Pink Lemonade" [-sara]
Beautiful.
I'm grateful for that night.
              I'm grateful for my friend.
                           I'm grateful for pink lemonade skies :)

Water kick-ball

Last night for FHE my ward played water kick-ball and it was a BLAST!!! We had a great turn out and there were only a handful who didn't want to get wet. Everyone else were great sports. Adam picked me up and threw me in one of the kiddy pools before we even started playing. lovely. Note to self: ware clothes that dry faster when participating in ward water activities.

Learn from life's experiences

The following is, in detail, the things that are unmistakably happening in my life. It is a great blessing to realize  true and sustaining lessons are taught through words of the prophets.

"The voice of the Lord is clear and unmistakable. He knows you. He loves you. He wants you to be eternally happy. But according to your God-given agency, the choice is yours. Each one of you has to decide for yourself if you are going to ignore the past and suffer the painful mistakes and tragic pitfalls that have befallen previous generations, experiencing for yourself the devastating consequences of bad choices. How much better your life will be if you will follow the noble example of the faithful followers of Christ such as the sons of Helaman, Moroni, Joseph Smith, and the stalwart pioneers—and choose, as they did, to remain faithful to your Heavenly Father’s commandments.

With all my heart I hope and pray that you will be wise enough to learn the lessons of the past. You don’t have to spend time as a Laman or a Lemuel in order to know that it’s much better to be a Nephi or a Jacob. You don’t have to follow the path of Cain or Gadianton in order to realize that “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10). And you don’t have to allow your community to become like Sodom or Gomorrah in order to understand that it isn’t a good place to raise a family.
Learning the lessons of the past allows you to walk boldly in the light without running the risk of stumbling in the darkness. This is the way it’s supposed to work. This is God’s plan: father and mother, grandfather and grandmother teaching their children; children learning from them and then becoming a more righteous generation through their own personal experiences and opportunities. Learning the lessons of the past allows you to build personal testimony on a solid bedrock of obedience, faith, and the witness of the Spirit.
Of course, it’s not enough to learn these lessons as a matter of history and culture. Learning the names and dates and sequence of events from the printed page won’t help you very much unless the meaning and the message are written in your hearts. Nourished by testimony and watered with faith, the lessons of the past can take root in your hearts and become a vibrant part of who you are.
And so it returns, as it always does, to your own personal faith and testimony. That is the difference-maker, my young brothers and sisters. That is how you know. That is how you avoid the mistakes of the past and take your spirituality to the next level. If you are open and receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit in your lives, you will understand the lessons of the past, and they will be burned into your souls by the power of your testimonies.

And how do you get such a testimony? Well, there’s no new technology for that, nor will there ever be. You cannot do a Google search to gain a testimony. You can’t text message faith. You gain a vibrant, life-changing testimony today the same way it has always been done. The process hasn’t been changed. It comes through desire, study, prayer, obedience, and service. That is why the teachings of prophets and apostles, past and present, are as relevant to your life today as they ever have been.
That you may find joy and happiness and peace in the future by learning the great and eternal lessons of the past is my prayer for each of you—for my grandchildren and all of the youth of the Church, wherever you may be—which I offer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

--Elder M. Russell Ballard
April Conference, 2009

I went to see "Despicable Me" last night and after this experience I have two words:

Again! Again!

Eclipse

Went out with Sara and Sarah and Tawny on a girly outing for a viewing of "Eclipse". Ever present were giant furry wolves and blood sucking, shining, heads-popping-off creatures...however ridiculous, I found myself grinning like a 13 year old through almost the whole show. {giggle} The pathetic rise of Kelsee continues.

But more than the movie entertainment was the enjoyment of being in such good company. I love my friends. I'm grateful they all still want to be my friends. It's so nice to have a few pretty faces in your circle. I'm lucky.

oh and the previews for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows looks *AMAZING*
Part One: November 19, 2010
Part Two: July 15, 2011

Can't wait

Awesome new phone!!

I just got the new DROID by motorola and it amazes even me and my nerdy tech-loving brain. I'm posting this from my phone as we speak! loving it.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.7

If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard

Contrary to popular belief, this life isn't meant to be easy. I'm reminded of this pretty consistently these days. It seems like mankind's natural instinct is to wish that everything we do would be "easier" or cause us "less stress". Haven't we learned by now that the best things come through hard work and struggle? Think of the things you have in life that are most valuable to you. Did they come easy or do you think at some point some real initiative had to be take to obtain those things?  I feel that is how it is my life. The things that have come to me free and easy without struggle or stress or hardship don't mean nearly as much to me as the things that have caused me heartache over the years. Buck up and see that things are hard and we make mistakes but we can still be happy.

Things I'm missing...

I'm having issues with missing people lately. The hard thing is that there is nothing I can do about any of the situations. I miss my best friend who's serving a mission. Things seem more complicated without him here. But I can't do a thing about that one. I miss my other dear friend who is so dear and special to me. We roller costered through a number of things and a number of years knowing one another...but he decided there wasn't something there worth fighting for and now our friendship isn't the same to me. There is nothing I can do about that. I miss my heart. It is in so many different places, held in hands other than my own...I can't do anything about it. It's not mine any more. I thought I couldn't get it back from giving it away once, but I did. I fought for it and I got it back and started giving it away again and now...hmm...perhaps my heart is lost and that is what is causing the emptiness. It's somewhere in between being given away and being received. Limbo heart. Can't quite calculate it all but I'm missing something. I hope it will come round soon.

Late night talks...

Last night I stayed up late talking with a dear friend of mine about life and how it is hard sometimes. She had had a really rough night that ended with a broken heart and was very upset. We talked about trials and what they really are and what they really do for us in this life. Though it is hard to struggle and to see those we love struggle, I am so eternally grateful for trials and hardships that our Father in Heaven allows us to go through. I am who I am today because of the hard times in my life. Life isn't always filled with downs, but when it's not one thing it is bound to be another and the faster we learn that we must pace ourselves with patience in enduring the things that happen to us in this life, the more we will gain the strength that was intended to come from them. It is truly comforting and inspiring to know that no matter what we may be going through, we are never alone and there is someone who knows exactly how we feel.

This ol' heart of mine...

"Hearts will never be made practical

until they are made unbreakable."

- Tinman (Wizard of Oz)

Last night I had an interesting experience pertaining to matters of the heart. I learned the wisdom in those priceless words from the Tinman whose only desire was to have a heart. Did he know when he pinpointed his greatest desire what it would entail having that precious commodity placed within his glimmering shield? The heart has to do quite the circus act to manage even beating consistently. It never fails that I am amazed by the pain that accompanies the twinging and the pulling of heartstrings. More often than not it is involuntary pain. Isn't it my heart? Shouldn't I have some sort of control over what I feel and what I want? But no, my heart pulls one way while my mind and body pull another and I end up somewhere between happiness and disgrace. And don't get me started on the tears that are shed when you find yourself in such an indefinable location.


For example, when you feel for a friend something you haven't identified with quite yet but you know something is there, how do you say the right thing after they finally tell you that they finally know how they feel? How do you justify and express that you are missing the boat and stuck with a broken paddle desperately wanting to catch up to the steaming vessel that is effortlessly coasting upstream? Currents in a river only flow one way, after all. There's only so much you can do to resist the pull of the powerful body of water that doesn't have a single doubt as to where it is going and it's purpose in it's consistent flow. A river isn't afraid to rapidly flow over rocks, trees, banks, anything that gets in it's way...if only I could be so sure of my path...

Now I'm in the middle of a raging river with said broken paddle, not getting anywhere, and I watch with a longing, aching heart as what could have been my rescue, moves on. Eventually the watchtower won't even bother to try and see me struggling in the distance anymore. There are other boats that will come...aren't there?

Funny

I was browsing around on facebook earlier and found the following posted to my friends status. I laughed out loud at work and had to blog it.

"TICK WARNING! I hate it when people post bogus warnings, but this one is real. Please repost this as your status! If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and ask you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT! THIS IS A SCAM! They only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid... :/"

too funny!!

Late night talks...

Last night I stayed up late talking with a dear friend of mine about life and how it is hard sometimes. She had had a really rough night that ended with a broken heart and was very upset. We talked about trials and what they really are and what they really do for us in this life. Though it is hard to struggle and to see those we love struggle, I am so eternally grateful for trials and hardships that our Father in Heaven allows us to go through. I am who I am today because of the hard times in my life. Life isn't always filled with downs, but when it's not one thing it is bound to be another and the faster we learn that we must pace ourselves with patience in enduring the things that happen to us in this life, the more we will gain the strength that was intended to come from them. It is truly comforting and inspiring to know that no matter what we may be going through, we are never alone and there is someone who knows exactly how we feel.

"Look Down, Look Down, Don't look 'em in the eye..."

Last night Tawny, Sabrina and I went to see Les Misérables at Bonneville High School and they did a great job. It was so fun to sit there and be taken back to my jr. year in high school when we did Les Misérables in our theater department. So very many wonderful memories I have performing that show. Funny the emotion that certain memories can stir up. I really did enjoy performing. Being a part of something creates a part of you that you can never lose. As I watched the performers on stage last night, giving their all and pushing themselves to the limit, I couldn't help but feel a sense of longing to be back in their shoes. The smells, the sounds, the issues, the exhaustion...yet somehow, I don't miss it enough to wish it was all still a part of my life. I have found new passions and new things to be a part of. I'm grateful for the experiences in life and the process of elimination, so to speak, that each experience makes us go through.

Sometimes...

Sometimes in life you have to take a moment, sit back, choose to smile, and accept that some things are just bound to happen.

Sometimes all the lights will turn red on your way to work.

Sometimes you will spend a few extra minutes in the bathroom.

Sometimes you will have extra fatty layers on your body.

Sometimes you will receive things you are undeserving of.

Sometimes there won't be any way around being sick.

Sometimes you just won't have enough money.

Sometimes you simply won't survive without your favorite treat that is in no way good for you.

Sometimes you will be in trouble.

Sometimes people just won't like you, even when you did nothing to wrong them.

Sometimes you won't escape the freak snowstorm.

Sometimes you will forget your best friends birthday.

Sometimes you will fight with the ones you love.

Sometimes the baby will spit up on you.

Sometimes you will run out of toilet paper...on the roll and under the sink.

Sometimes the diaper will smell REALLY bad.

Sometimes you will fail a test.

Sometimes someone else will refuse to see your perspective.

Sometimes the sunset will make you cry.

Sometimes you will step on a thorn in your bare feet.

Sometimes you won't be able to let go.

Sometimes your fist will clench up when thinking about politics.

Sometimes gritting your teeth won't take away the pain.

Sometimes your cheeks are going to hurt from laughter.

Sometimes the rock in your shoe won't come out till the third try.

Sometimes the milk in the fridge will be bad.

Sometimes the shower will be cold.

Sometimes your flip-flop will break.

Sometimes your voice will squeak while trying to sing.

Sometimes you will forget the conversation you had with your mother the night before.

Sometimes you will be taken for granted.

Sometimes you will have to listen to the neighbors dog bark at 3a.m.

Sometimes you will need a hug.

Sometimes you will fall asleep on the couch and wake up with a kink in your neck.

Sometimes you will recognize that your parents really do love you.

Sometimes you will waste time.

Sometimes the mousetrap won't catch the mouse.

Sometimes the wind will knock down the fence.

Sometimes seeing a child smile will take your breath away.

Sometimes the movie will suck.

Sometimes grandma will hug you too tight.

Sometimes you will let yourself dance and sing in the car.

Sometimes the frost on your windshield will make you late for work.

Sometimes the joke will be on you.

Sometimes you will feel sad.

Sometimes you will be uncontrollably happy.

Sometimes you will know...

Sometimes you won't...

Try to remember that all the "sometimes" are creating your lifetime...all the time. Each moment is part of something and each blink becomes a sometime. Enjoy your "sometime" moments.

Rocks and shiny things...

One of my amazing friends, Michelle, got engaged yesterday and it made my heart all a flutter. It feels so good to be so happy for her even though the love I wish I had by my side isn't here right now. Sometimes I see the selfishness of others when they can't be happy for their friends when something WONDERFUL happens to them and it makes me sad. Everyone deserves excitement when something exciting happens to them. My plug is for everyone to look outside themselves and see things through a different pair of goggles. I picture a moment of bliss...for me it includes every tidbit of good news I've ever gotten from a friend because to me the smiles they share when they tell me their news if proof to me that good things still happen in this scary world we live it. Each smile gives me hope and happiness on my own roller coaster of life. Each smile proves to me that God blesses our lives. Each smile satisfies my need for happiness. Seeing the joy in the lives of those I love and care for humbles me and makes feel an emotion that surpasses it all....gratitude.

Life is beautiful.

Isn't the word "April" pretty??

The following explains the past month of no new entries.

I AM A

S unshine outside...blogging inside?? please!!

L oans...yes, I'm training on them at work. Exhausting !

A mazon.com...this site will be the death of my bank account. I'm searching for camera gear. YAY!

C ranky. Mood swings are a part of being a woman. Accept it or misery awaits you...

K eys of my piano...yup wrote a new song. Love.

E nergy...haven't had enough of it, sadly.

R omance. No one physically here with me yet...but I'm in love, and it's very distracting.

Hopefully April brings a lot less snow and a lot more sunshine, giving me the enthusiasm to share my life through words.

This is what I need to feel today...

A little sunshine on my drooping pedals. I feel like I'm reaching to the sun but can't seem to feel it's warming rays today. We take the good with the bad and the lessons we learn through the bad are what bring us the good. I'm blessed to be holding a beautiful rose, but today is a day when I've been pricked by one of the thorns.

...but a small moment...

Pizza

And so began the evening of the 25th...

Tawny, Sabrina, Sarah, Laura and myself had a wonderfully chatty evening with pizza and bread sticks followed by a teary viewing of the movie "A Walk to Remember". I just love these girls. Living here just gets better and better. We've designated girls night for Thursdays and I know they are just going to get better. When all is said and done there is nothing better than losing sleep because you are thoroughly enjoying the company of those around you. I went to bed with the smell of fingernail polish in the air and was completely content having been surrounded by giggles and girlfriends. I am blessed.